Van Helsing

First showing on Friday - we have been looking forward to this flick for a month, easily. We like horror movies, we like monster movies, we thought this one would be cool. It is so not. NOT.

Where do I start? It's not a horror or a monster movie. The writers tried (unsuccessfully) to make a James Bond flick with a guy who dresses like he's in The Matrix. He has a monk (sorry, FRIAR) as a sidekick who has a huge lab full of 007 type weapons. It's a fairly good premise, but he only ends up using 3 of these cool new inventions. We see the same one (a gun that shoots arrows really fast) over and over and over and over.

In fact they have like 10 special effects in their bags of tricks, flying vampires, werewolves that turn to humans and turn to wolves and turn to humans and turn to wolves, and lots of sparkly electricity and we see the same effects used over and over and over and over. After 10 minutes there are no new effects, but you get to look at the ones you've seen for the rest of the movie.

I have no idea why there is a Dracula and Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde in this movie. I know, they try to tell you and there is barely a plot, but honestly it makes no sense. I think it sounded good to the boys smoking cigars floating in the pool in LA drinking margaritas. "Hey I got it, man, there's never been a 007 that goes after monsters instead of criminals! Yeahhh!" After the third pitcher that must have sounded like a good idea. That has to be the reason this movie was made.

I have to repeat something - Robert and I love the movies. We go even when there's nothing we really want to see. We look forward to our time at the movies. A bad day at the movies beats a good day nearly anywhere else - you see what I'm saying? That said, we try not to bash movies too harshly. We usually find something good in all of them. But this one was just plain dumb.

Pueblo Tinseltown - popcorn was great - I remembered my white cheddar sprinkle cheese!

Overall rating - 2